It really is raining babies, isn't it? Well not in our household. As usually I am feeling left out.
So there is another royal baby on the way. Of course it is, why wouldn't it be? I thought the agreement was that we go first!!!! When I was watching the wedding on TV couple of years ago, we were already trying for a baby. Everyone kept having second babies, or first babies, we had nothing. I remember joking with my husband: who will be first - Will and Kate or us? Will they beat us to it, too?
They didn't, we got pregnant few month earlier. And now they clearly broke their agreement.
The same day husband comes home with the news that one of our friends is expecting. She is married for few years but only during this year did she discover that her husband doesn't actually want to have kids! I suppose they never had the chat. Or he did make himself clear, but she, being a woman, assumed that she will change him. I don't know. There were talks of therapy, keeping things as they are and staying bitter, or going the separate ways. I expected it to be a long process. But no, they are pregnant and apparently he is over the roof, happy and excited, changed man. No idea how they did it but good for them.
Our neighbors had their second baby two weeks ago, we met the little boy for the first time couple of days ago and I could finally see husband getting excited about tiny little baby. Hopefully he is broody.
We are busy - I am taking care of our child who is seventeen months old today and the house, he is back with work plus searching for a new job as he needs a change and a move in his career. Summer with all visits, trips and get togethers was a little bit hectic. Plus my husband was fighting off airport flu (apparently plain flu isn't enough, just going to the airport means being attacked by air conditioned blow which is full of bugs!), cold from our child (we both had it so he couldn't cherish it too much and it only lasted three days), and last couple of days he is coughing again. Apparently it is chest cold, whatever it means. I can not understand how anybody can have a form of cold through most of the summer, but there we go. The point is we are not having sex. He is tired. He isn't well. He has to prepare for work. I am pressuring him too much!!!
I am trying my best but in last two days I ate more than in last two weeks. No 5:2 diet this week! I think my frustrations are taking over me. I simply feel hungry all the time. I don't sleep well because our child is taking too much space in our bed and bad sleep brings cravings. I am keeping up with my exercises but keep forgetting simple things like tracking good days in my cycle and temperatures. I bought special womb tea and ovulation tests but forgot to make the tea every day so far and didn't remember to use the tests when I was supposed to. I am so overwhelmed with it all. Trying for our first child was hard, but to keep up with it the second time around is almost impossible. No matter how demanding motherhood is I am sure the most difficult part is getting pregnant. Pregnancy, labour, baby care - all doable. And I want it all again.
So I sat down with husband and we set our priorities straight. We do want another child and we can work together as a team. Yes, it is raining babies again but we have been through it already and now we at least know that we can do it, miracles do happen. There will be sparkles soon.... In the next cycle......