35 weeks

I am 35 weeks! I am massive and a good night sleep is a thing of mystery to me. Not only does the baby tend to wake me up whenever it wants to. Two nights ago it decided to kick my right ribs in such a strong way that I actually shook up and woke up. Then it wiggled within doing some sort of dance routine. Its moonwalks over my ribs are usually amusing but this one was mean, really mean.

Than here comes my husband. He had a cold over Christmas and he couldn't shake it off. He got antibiotics after almost a month of coughing, nose blowing and snoring. Then the antibiotics killed his helpful bacteria in the gut and he got some digestion issues, felt tired and weak. It was actually my fault because I didn't make sure he eats probiotics with his antibiotics. Who would expect a man to think about that? He got over it. During this time he is able to work, traveled to a conference in Malta and managed to enjoy a weekend at the bachelors for his friend. For all these events he manages to be fine and active. Than he comes home, refuses to accompany me to swimming even though I am super conscious of the way I look (and the fact that I only fit into bikini) because he is feeling sick or weak or both, he snores at night and complains during the day. He was fine for a while but now his cough is back and aren't his eyes red? Is he getting an infection? What do I think?

So when the baby allows me to rest I am woken up by him or by wondering if there is something serious going on, if he is having some bad illness, if he will even meet his baby he wanted so much... Seriously, the thoughts that come to your head at about 3.30 am are crap. Your normal reasonable mind is not active, the speculative bad worrying mind takes over. It is dark, quiet, you are trying to sleep while the man next to you huffs and puffs and the brain decides to speculate. Annoying!

I am trying my best to keep up. During the day I usually come to a conclusion that husband will survive. I secretly think that he is feeling left out with all the attention on me and my pregnancy (although it is OUR pregnancy, I don't mind to share, really) and his symptoms are more or less of mental nature. I do not think he is succumbing to some rare illness I think he needs more attention. I am trying my best to be nice to him and be as helpful around the house as I can, but aware that if I do too much he will assume pregnancy is swimmingly easy and won't make much effort. As always it is up to the woman to keep the balance and make him believe he is the controller. Sounds mean but it is true.

If I am active I feel better (my yoga teacher recommended as much activity as possible and she was right), plus I hope I will be tired and therefore sleep better. It helps to go to bed early and catch some extra sleep in the hours I would usually watch TV or a movie. I am probably in training for sleepless nights in the future.

I am not writing much, somehow there is so much to do! First of all there was an urge to clean, then I started washing and sorting all baby clothes and stuff we were given so far and I also had a sudden urge to source all the rest. I am getting ready. I have to get ready. Nothing interests me more than be ready for the big arrival of a little being who needs all of this stuff. I found great pram car seat combination on gumtree for a fraction of its original price. We are being given a cot. I spent half day researching reusable nappies. It is a science. Which type to go for? How do I know what will work? I chose a compromise - terry nappies. They cost less and I grew up with them, so did husband. We can not actually remember it but we did survive and our mothers did, too. So they can not be that bad. Now, as soon as there is space on the laundry line, I have to start washing the nappies and practice the folding. Laundry lines are full of baby's bedding and towels and wash clothes, we were flying through Boots and Ikea on Saturday morning with a long list in the hand, trying to stay ahead of the usual Saturday crowds (what is it with people actually wanting to spend their weekend in a shopping centers?). We have got everything we assume we need including Paracetamol (for the beginning of labour) and changing mat and... Well since probably only people in similar situation to mine are reading so far you have got pretty good idea what we have, but I must say I am proud of our organization skills.

The idea that I will be a full time writer during those last weeks was a little bit naive. But I did manage to catch up with what I have written so far - half of the novel is done and I can carry on, memory fresh, new ideas in my head. It helped to look back although it isn't recommended to revise unfinished novels but I needed to catch up and refresh my memory, that's all. It helped, I am very inspired. I hope I will get better once my nesting instinct is satisfied at least for a while.... Tomorrow.....